...I wonder

And still, I wonder if I made the right choices.
I wonder if I could be "ready" if I just try hard enough.
I wonder if this is yet another episode of "piss it all away".
I wonder if I really did right by her.
I wonder if I could have done somethings differently and made everything better.
I wonder if I really tried or was I just lying to myself.
I wonder if this is a reflection of some deficiency in me.
I wonder if I let the one go.
I wonder why I can never just be happy.
I wonder if I made the mistake of a lifetime.
I wonder what she saw in me that no one else seems to see.
I wonder why, after all those years of wishing for someone, I can't get my shit together enough to keep her.
I wonder if the hurting will stop.
I wonder if I got what I wanted and the cost of what I needed.