All i want is a "yay me" moment. When can i be happy for me? When can i hear someone else say "i'm happy for you" or "that's really cool". Why do i seem to be a supporting role in my own life story? When do I get to cash in some of this pain from something pleasurable? Something that happend to me, not to those around me, or that i was only periphialy involved in. Somewhere, this all went wrong. It got fucked. And I can't un-fuck it. Maybe i fucked it all up myself. Maybe whoever is in charge lost track and I have to pull overtime as a negative to the positives. Why can't I get the girl, or the really awesome job, or be someones role model. I never hear how people want to be like me. Seems that everyone instinctively knows that being me sucks. I can't remember the last time i really felt respected. Like people found something in me to admire. I couldn't even pick something for people to admire about me. I'm not shit, but i'm not gravy either. I'm just... ok. good, but not good enough.

Please don't go leaving comments on this. This isn't me asking for you to come up with something nice to say about me, or to cheer me up. Just... leave it be. Please.