And the motherfucking saga continues......

SO! In what could only be described as a fit of unwarranted need for loud music and expensive drinks, i agree to go to a club. Right.... i usually don't like clubs, which held true for this one, but I go anyway cause i'm a looser who likes to pretend i have a life sometimes. the friends i go with are, surprise surprise, Jane, Mr. Man, and myself. Now, i know this is going to be bad. I knew that going into this. But still, i held on to some fleeting hope that his would not end in horrid fashion. Riiiiiight. SO, we're getting ready to leave, and Joan, Mr. Man's SO decided that seeing jane in a collar (Think metal, leather and padlock.... oi vey) would be funny and talks them into this. Mind you, I had no say, she was suddenly in the collar and had the key in her boot (bad idea number two.) well, the night goes on, the decided to pick up something to drink in the parking lot before they go in, so they can get drunk for a reasonable price. I don't know this, and no one tells me till it's too late (mistake number two. I stay pretty sober, two drinks, five hours. These two get plowed. Well, Jane decides she's going to "have her way" with mr. man because she can blame it on the alcohol. I express my objections, and she decideds to do it any how (bad idea number three, becuase Karma is a motherfucker). Well, Mr. Man says to me that he tried telling her to stop and she didn't listen.... which i did not see any evidence of, but hey, i'm not watching them the entire time, so it is possible..... riiiiiight, i just pretend to hold my breath till i believe that one. at any rate, he says he wants me to help him..... i try, fail, cuase she don't want no parts of me. So, he tries to convice me, more than jane, that he is not intrested. I'll just file that with the previous pretending, kill two birds with one stone. At some point in time, Jane wants the collar off, and they key is no where to br found. now, up untill this point, i'm under the impression that mr. man has the key..... well, it would appear that the janitors will be plus one key in the morning. so, we eventually get back to my car and try to pick said lock, no go. Mr. Man bought some premium locks, and i don't have premium lock picking tools. So he decides to go to this bondage club he knows about, see what they can do. Mind you, i still don't know what they had to drink before, so i think they are running on two, maybe three drinks. Come to find out later that jane thought it would be better to drink before they got in the club as a cost savng measure..... well, it was raining, wich means that the roads were just wet enough to be dangerous, and she hits a pole..... not a little pole she could take down, no..... a ENOURMOOUS pole that completly renders the front end of the car about a foot shorter. Karma will fuck you. She tried to blame the alcohol for her making the moves to steal someone elses man, and winds up having the alcohol take her car in stead. More irony, we were leaving the not have to deal with the ambulance that security wanted to call. Security caught us in the parking lot trying to undo the lock. Said they were going to make thier rounds if we didn't leave by then, they had to call an ambu. Mr. Man wants no parts of the ambu., so we leave, at his request. Jane drives, hits the pole, and he winds up in an ambu..... so, i got to spend the rest of the night playing taxi and driving people to the hospital and home.... yay... And the odd thing is that everyone seems to think, without saying so, that karma is indeed, a motherfucker..... joan and mr. man joke about the karmactic feel of it..... but we all know..... kinda spooky.