my love life.

Well, as I would discuss this later. I figure now is as good a later as any. I have no love life. Seems that everyone I know seems to think otherwise. I don't understand why. But the fact remains, I have the sex appeal of a slug in a salt bath. I can't remember the last time someone actually expressed any desire for me. At best, I can achieve passing fancy. I usally get no further than brief thought. I used to have sex appeal. In college, I had no problems getting a date.... now, HA! It would appear as though I the perma-friend. I've given up. There's no point in trying to date. I'm just not viable, for lack of a better word. My last forray into that whole sceene ended in me loosing my Digweed cd. It was in lieu of my sanity, but still.... I liked that cd. Now i gotta go through the bother of buying ti agian. And that's annoying. Before that, it was the older woman with attachment issues. Mind you, not attachment issues I need to know about. Had she told me, I would have been just fine, but nooooo, she tells me after avoiding me for over a month. everything before is along the same lines. The only decent romantic entanglement I've had post college wasn't even serious. It was, effectively, just fucking. I miss the feeling we had. It was nice and laid back, neither of us laid guilt trips and ego trips and booby traps on eachother. But, she moved back to cali. :( but she's happy :). It's been asked of me before, "what am i looking for." That's the thing. I'm not looking for a specific person, in so much that I'm not looking classify people. I take everyone on an individual basis. What's cute when woman a does could be annoying when woman b does the same thing. So, I pretty much give everyone a chance to make an impression. Make me want to continue talking to them. Unfortunately, I don't get the same thing in return. I seem to be taken out of the running before I even enter the race. The slightest thing, and I get thrown back. I'm never just right.... And it doesn;t help that 90% of my exes have gone off the get married or engaged or in an LTR RIGHT after we break up. I think the record is two days. Two days to get over me, find someone, and get seriously involved. Not exactly what you'd call "good for my self image" I'm always the last potty break. Last chance to have a fling... then off the what they really want. It would be nice if someone really wanted me for a change. I'm getting a littled tired of feeling like a consolation prize. Hell, lately, I've been the cheap and cheezy door prize lately. No one wants it, everyone is praying they don't get called to go make nice and pretend they actually wanted the shitty gift. I don't get it. Everyone says i'm such a great person, that i've got so much going for me, but I can't even land a real date on valentines day, and I've gone kissless every new years to date. I just always end up the third wheel. Every couples single friend. Some days i don't think about it, and others, i'm sure something is wrong with me. I'm defective. And, lately, i've been feeling more and more defective. Like i'm just not good enough to be considered anything beyond a friend. I go used to go out to clubs and such.... but i got tired of being the single guy everyone avoids. I know it's circular reasoning, I'm defective cause i'm single, therefore, i'm single cause i'm defective. but it's how i feel. and i can't seem to shake the feeling. ok, getting a little more depressed and ranty than i planned, going to take a breka now.